Waiting for The Real Progressive Liberals or Godot

It's a common complaint here in The People's Banana Empire of New York that city services suck, the cost of living grows ever higher, the trains are running worse and some categories of crime are rising. There are some local luminaries who deny the reasons why are not because we are a severely over-taxed, over regulated, balkanized, mutlicult empire run by demented progressive leftists who prize ideological purity and identity over competence. But, no, dear reader! It is that our current leadership is in fact not real progressive liberals. Yes, according to these our local pundit bloggers, the astounding wits they are, our Dear Leader, Bill de Blasio and his cadres are not in fact true, genuine, bonafide progressives but dastardly REBNY owned impostors! Impostors, frauds and imperfect implementation explains all of the past and present failures of progressivism and socialism. Not that mental giant proponents of it are delusional cargo cultists pushing a fatally flawed ideology.

Indeed, according to the mastermind proponents of the "muh real progressive liberal" cause had "muh real progressive liberals" been here, we would have achieved the promised Utopia of perfect equality in all things material, intellectual and spiritual. Choruses of Kumbaya would ring throughout the empire, white liberal "foodies" would squee like giddy school girls over the variety of wonderful ethnic foods and the trains would run on time too! For the white liberal, it would be the 1967 Summer of Love all over again but without the overdosed drug addicts and autistic hippies with weapons grade body odor, wallowing in feces and urine soaked mud. A perfect, permanent Burning Man festival without any of the downsides and in a consequence free environment. For the poorer ones- whites, non-whites and other odds and ends, it would be living in material wealth the same as the rich, white liberal, a higher status in society simply given as right and all the freestuff they can lay hands on but without having to earn any of it for themselves. Godot is more likely to arrive first.

So how do these protean geniuses of the "muh real progressive liberal" thing define a real progressive liberal? How will we know this prodigy when he appears to lead us to the Elysian fields of perfect liberalism? What the hell is perfect liberalism anyway? How will the real, legitimate, true progressive liberal accomplish all this? As I have asked the proponents in the comments sections several times, I have not received a coherent answer except that the real progressive liberal is real, and bears a resemblance to Santa Claus. And he's making a list and checking it twice and will prefect socialism at last unlike every other past, miserable failure throughout history.

But fear not, dear reader! For the precocious good liberals who truly believe in the Real Progressive Liberal Eminence coming like the Great Pumpkin are still hard at work. Building the runways in their backyards complete with cardboard boxes for the control tower and hangers so that the Great Progressive Liberal messiah shall take notice and will land there and lead us to paradise. Courage comrades!


Donald Cavaioli